mylittleponderings

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Forgive Quickly.

Life is too short to leave important words unsaid.

I know, I know…we all “know” this right? We all know that we should let go of the every day stresses and woes of life. The day-to-day squabbles, moans and irritations. We know that holding onto grudges and anger only ultimately hurts us; that we should always kiss our loved ones goodbye when we go out and never go to bed on an argument.

However, it isn’t always to do.

Every now and then though, “something” happens to remind us just how important it is to forgive quickly and tell the people we love just how much they mean to us. “

Recently. I learned of a friends Dad passing away. I learned of it the tragic way most news is learned about these days; through Facebook, and it shocked me like I’d just had a slap to the face. Scrolling through countless baby pictures, thoughts on that nights football game and selfies, I stumbled across a simple photo of this friend as a toddler being held by his Dad, and without reading the caption, I knew something awful had happened.

My first thought was of my friend and of his pain. I quickly scanned my memory, bringing forward conversations I thought were long buried; of how important his Dad was to him and how much he learned from him…

My second was of how long it had been since I’d seen this friend in anything more than a 2D Facebook form. I felt guilty I hadn’t made more effort to go over to see him and his folks, who had become a big part of a 5 year period in my adolescence.

It isn’t that I felt any strong connection to his Dad particularly. Just that, when you’re growing up, always over at each others homes,;peoples parents and siblings can start to feel like extensions of your friendship. You get told family stories and brought in on the family gossip. My memories are of brief interactions mostly over lunch in their garden or a walk from the hallway to the car.

However, he once said something to me that I’ve never forgotten. I remember it word for word because as soon as he left the room I sent it as a text to myself and later as an email which I still have in my inbox today.

“It’s shit when we realise our heros are just humans too, isn’t it? Be your own super hero Kate. I think you’ll go a long way and he is a fool not to see who you already are, let alone who you can become.”

I have forgotten the context of this particular statement but it still makes me smile. I wish I had had the chance to say thank you to him, for bringing me some comfort when I needed it and for showing me kindness when he didn’t have to.

And that is the sentence I want to avoid ever having to say or write again… I wish I had had the chance. I had had the chance. I just always assumed there would be others and took “time” for granted.

Similarly, I don’t always make the time to see the people who matter to me either, there is always a diary clash or last minute audition etc… however that is no excuse for not dropping them a text to see how their week is going or a message of encouragement for the big date…

So I wanted to write this blog more as a little note of acknowledgement to my loved ones and as food for thought for anyone who may need reminding of the fragility of our lives. We never know what is round the corner.

It is time to forgive, move on, hug each other and send a little message of thought and love.

Lets not waste time, lets make time!

Posted by mylittleponderings | April 10, 2014 | Categories: Friends & Family, Personal | Tags: forgive quickly, forgiveness, friendship, Life, Life is too short, love, Peaches Geldof | Leave a comment

#NoMakeupSelfie

Love them or loath them, the ‘Selfie’ is here to stay. In fact, almost everywhere I look these days, I see the smiling, pouting or blank expressions of a friend or stranger. The debate of “the selfie” has sparked up again, what with the Oscars famous posting, David Cameron getting involved and even astronauts in space getting in on the fun! Suddenly, the anti-selfie gang has grown and it isn’t hard to understand why. They can be awkward, come across arrogant and sometimes a touch inappropriate.

Lucybelle Thompson

HOWEVER, I still think they bring something to the table and I’m currently loving all the women out there who are stripping off their make-up and uploading a selfie all in the name of Cancer Research. Now the idea isn’t a new one; DareToBare which launched in September last year had a similar concept and countless celebrities got involved in order to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. However, there is something more unifying about the approach this time around. It is about you, your friends, your family and your social network connecting and posting selfies whilst also “nominating” each other to get involved too. Even the men are starting to get in on the action and make-upping-up for selfies all in the name of a good cause!

So if you’d like to get involved text 70099 and the word BEAT to donate £3 – Upload your selfie onto the social media platform(s) of your choice and tag 3 others asking them to do the same. Lets all help #BeatCancerSooner and have a little fun in the meantime…

Thank you to the lovely folk below who allowed me to use their selfies as perfect examples. Particular thanks to Jan Buonaiuto who took her selfie on the morning after she had a mastectomy and reconstruction. She has documented her experience in a series of films which can be found on her facebook page.

Oh…and the next time you roll your eyes at a friends selfie, remember these three things:

It is nice to put a face to a tweet…or a post…or a status update. It feels more personal to see people as they are, in that moment. It adds an honesty and reliability factor that nothing else can. If someone is looking great, I don’t think “oh how narcissistic”! They are just sharing themselves and why not encourage that?
If you think about it, everything we do online is a form of ‘Selfie’. Your status updates, your likes, your comments, all give the world wide web a sense of who you are. Yes a picture is, quite literally, a little more in your face but you put that out there, you decide what the world learns about you and what you share. You do that because you feel you have something to add; something to say and something to share. A picture of someones face shouldn’t be less acceptable than a picture of someones dinner or someones view…
Why care anyway? It is a tiny, insignificant element of life which adds some colour and fun more than anything. Don’t let something so small become annoying to you.

So if you never rock a selfie or if your selfie crazy; grab your phone and work your best angle, judgement free.

Posted by mylittleponderings | March 20, 2014 | Categories: About Me, Personal | Tags: #BeatCancerSooner, #NoMakeupSelfie, Anti-Selfie, Cancer Research UK, Pro-Selfie, Selfie | Leave a comment

Beating the “Failure” Fear

For the past few months I’ve been struggling with what to write on here. Not because I don’t have thoughts or opinions on ‘things’; in fact the ponderings in my brain are more intense than ever! I just haven’t had any self belief that anyone will want to read them or more importantly, will care about them.

This fear of putting myself out there has creeped into many aspects of my life and the less I have done, the more daunting even the simple task of “blogging” has become. To keep striving for certain things in life is supposed to be an adventure, a pleasure and part of ‘the journey’ but I’ve seen every obstacle as reflection on my abilities and with that, my confidence has gone.

Anyway, I’m bored of it now. It is about time I did something about. So I’ve identified what it is that has been holding me back and unfortunately it is possibly the most common fear of them all. It can strike anyone; the mentally strong, the intellectuals, the beautiful and the skilled.

Failure is ultimately what I’m scared of and the nagging thought in the back of my mind that I’m probably going to mess it all up.

I’ve already messed up a few things! My first attempt at life in London was a bit of a bust. After just a few months, I was swallowed up by the place and ended up running back home to the safety of the seaside. My first ‘proper job’ had something to do with that and I allowed myself to get pushed around in a role that was supposed to be just a “means-to-an-end”. I also had a creepy flatmate who has put me off flat-sharing for life and a boyfriend who…well I won’t go into that. Lets just say I should have learnt a lot quicker and saved myself the heartache!

However, when I look back on this time now, I actually can’t stop the smile forming on my lips. The truth was, I was very “green” as the suits like to say. I was young, nieve and a little bit stupid and without these failures, I’d never have learnt that truth about myself. I’d never have learnt the crucial lessons that have allowed me to once again, take London on and become part of it in a way that I never imagined. So I’ve started to see each “failure” as exactly that, a ‘lesson’ and the truth is, the only way to really fail is to carry on like I have been, which is by not trying at all.

If you’ve been feeling a little bit like me, the next four points may help…

1. Accept that failure is part of life.
As much as people can live by the mindset that “failure is not an opition”; the reality is that it does happen. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it doesn’t always work. Accept that fact and suddenly it isn’t as scary and far easier to move on from if/when you do fail.

2.Learn from past failures and enjoy them.
The chances are, at somepoint, in some capacity of your life, you have failed at some time. Even if your world has come crashing down around you (it has for me), chances are you’re over it now and consider yourself stronger and wiser. Remember that. So if your crippled by failure the next time you come to tackle something, remind yourself that you’ve overcome failure before and you will again.

3.Listen to other people’s stories.
Everything you’re feeling and every doubt you’re having has probably been felt and thought about by thousands of other people. Hear their stories. Read interviews with your heroes and see that most admit to multiple failures before hitting success. You’ll feel less alone in your fear and you’ll see that the risk of failure is worth it; you never know, you might not fail!

4.Learn, reflect, and learn some more.
Every failure builds character, strength and knowledge. Move on from each one reflecting on what tripped you up last time and set yourself up for success in the future.

Posted by mylittleponderings | March 13, 2014 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: advice, failure, london, success | 4 Comments

Today I Will Experience Joy

Mummy Hollowood always loves to tell the story of my Christening, where the Priest chose to read a scripture all about Joy. I assume, as I am too young to remember, this must be about the joy of new life, the joy that life brings to the family and hopefully, the joy that life will experience. Now, I’m not all that religious myself, I enjoy certain rituals that come with Christianity and I live my life (as much as possible) to the 10 Commandments. However, I do hold a lot of value in the word “Joy” and I like that it is associated with me when…well…at least my Mum hears it!

It also worries me a little too because lately, I haven’t been the most joyful. Despite having an amazing end to 2013, I’ve returned to London heavy-hearted and full of worries. I seem to have forgotten to experience joy, even for just the last few weeks and it has dragged everything down. So I’m writing this as a little reminder to us all, to have a little more joy in our lives and experience a little more joy in the things we do.

Yes, it won’t stop raining. Yes, there are bills to pay. Yes, there is weight to lose and YES there is tons of work to be done…

BUT

Ask yourself each day, “What brings me joy?” Do that, Be that, Share that, Spend more time with that. Then you will experience joy today and every day you try to. Joy, like happiness, isn’t something we are entitled to, we’ve got to work at it. I know, I apologise for the cheesy post… but sometimes we need to have a little more cheesyness in our lives too! To JOY and CHEESE!

Posted by mylittleponderings | January 13, 2014 | Categories: Personal | Tags: happiness, Joy, Life | 4 Comments

New Year, New Me (Bullshit)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Wishing you all the happiest of 2014′s and a successful, healthy and adventurous year ahead.

Often at this time of year, we feel we have to make promises to ourselves about making major changes to ourselves and our lifestyles. However, I urge you not to.

Spend 2014 finding a way to find happiness in who you are. Spend more time with yourself, make more time for your friends, get to know your parents and make sure you giggle every day! Small changes lead to the big ones. So be kinder to yourself, more realistic and quit the bullshit! It is a good place to start…

Thank you to everyone who has become part of a 2013 memory – you know who you are…

See you on the other side…

Posted by mylittleponderings | December 31, 2013 | Categories: About Me | Tags: 2013, 2014, happy new year, new you | Leave a comment

Time for a Catch Up!

You may have noticed my absence from blogging for quite sometime. In fact, even I cannot remember the last time I properly wrote on here. I guess it is because this blog started out as an outlet for me when I was at my unhappiest, therefore when I became happy, I didn’t know what “let out”. I also got busy. Really stupidly, crazy busy, working all sorts of mental hours which meant that this was neglected, much like the rest of my life during that time!

However, I missed it. Followers and comment-leavers became like friends and I figured it was time for us to catch up, so I’m back! I don’t need to be sad to share… life is rich because of our struggles and our successes. It is nice to know there are witnesses to our lives who can be there for both.

So. 2013 was a great year… generally! I finally moved into a permanent place in London …with a boy! So not only am I no longer nomadic and bouncing from one friends sofa to another, but my hearts also been mended and I’ve fallen pretty hard for the guy I shall refer to as, Mr Dreamboat. I made my first television debut on BBC1′s Doctors which was a very exciting moment for me but I suspect even more so for my Mum who finally had an excuse to throw a Doctors & Nurses Party (no, I’m not kidding). I also got to spend a month in South Africa, “working”, travelling, wine tasting and making the most being fairly responsibility-less.

I sadly DIDN’T get enough time with my friends who I’ve nicknamed, The Petite Lady and The Artist. So hopefully, future tales on this blog will involve more antics with them. I also didn’t do “enough”…you know…”stuff”. I was a bit all work and no focus last year, so I’m aiming for “more” in 2014 (any recommendations welcome). Lastly, I forgot to eat 5 vegetables a day – next year I shall be drowning in them!

So, until next year, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I shall blog on the other side (and it won’t be as mundane as this catch up – I hope!)

Thanks for reading x

Posted by mylittleponderings | December 30, 2013 | Categories: About Me | Tags: catch up, round up | 4 Comments

#LoveAlwaysWins

It is with great pride that I present to you a short film (in which I feature) that speaks out against Russia’s anti-gay law. Please like and share with your online-world and together, we can make a difference. Thank you.

#LOVEALWAYSWINS