Life is too short to leave important words unsaid.
I know, I know…we all “know” this right? We all know that we should let go of the every day stresses and woes of life. The day-to-day squabbles, moans and irritations. We know that holding onto grudges and anger only ultimately hurts us; that we should always kiss our loved ones goodbye when we go out and never go to bed on an argument.
However, it isn’t always to do.
Every now and then though, “something” happens to remind us just how important it is to forgive quickly and tell the people we love just how much they mean to us. “
Recently. I learned of a friends Dad passing away. I learned of it the tragic way most news is learned about these days; through Facebook, and it shocked me like I’d just had a slap to the face. Scrolling through countless baby pictures, thoughts on that nights football game and selfies, I stumbled across a simple photo of this friend as a toddler being held by his Dad, and without reading the caption, I knew something awful had happened.
My first thought was of my friend and of his pain. I quickly scanned my memory, bringing forward conversations I thought were long buried; of how important his Dad was to him and how much he learned from him…
My second was of how long it had been since I’d seen this friend in anything more than a 2D Facebook form. I felt guilty I hadn’t made more effort to go over to see him and his folks, who had become a big part of a 5 year period in my adolescence.
It isn’t that I felt any strong connection to his Dad particularly. Just that, when you’re growing up, always over at each others homes,;peoples parents and siblings can start to feel like extensions of your friendship. You get told family stories and brought in on the family gossip. My memories are of brief interactions mostly over lunch in their garden or a walk from the hallway to the car.
However, he once said something to me that I’ve never forgotten. I remember it word for word because as soon as he left the room I sent it as a text to myself and later as an email which I still have in my inbox today.
“It’s shit when we realise our heros are just humans too, isn’t it? Be your own super hero Kate. I think you’ll go a long way and he is a fool not to see who you already are, let alone who you can become.”
I have forgotten the context of this particular statement but it still makes me smile. I wish I had had the chance to say thank you to him, for bringing me some comfort when I needed it and for showing me kindness when he didn’t have to.
And that is the sentence I want to avoid ever having to say or write again… I wish I had had the chance. I had had the chance. I just always assumed there would be others and took “time” for granted.
Similarly, I don’t always make the time to see the people who matter to me either, there is always a diary clash or last minute audition etc… however that is no excuse for not dropping them a text to see how their week is going or a message of encouragement for the big date…
So I wanted to write this blog more as a little note of acknowledgement to my loved ones and as food for thought for anyone who may need reminding of the fragility of our lives. We never know what is round the corner.
It is time to forgive, move on, hug each other and send a little message of thought and love.
Lets not waste time, lets make time!